Tuesday, October 30, 2007

short days

days go slowly sometimes. then you blink and years seem like they were just yesterday.
our family has been working through the illness and passing of my father-in-law for the past weeks.
hospital waiting room days seemed like time was standing still. his passing happened quickly.

going through things is a reminder of how short and precious life is. we don't know when our last tomorrow will be. there are 'i love you's' and 'i'm sorry's' that need to be said while we can.
for there to be memories to treasure later, there need to be memorable moments now.

i look at my boys and i pray that someday when they are remembering their parents, i hope that they remember time that we've spent together reading stories and playing in the backyard and trips to the zoo, always looking for something that we've never seen before. i hope that they always marvel at the mountains, knowing the God that made them. i pray that they see how i've done my best to trust God in all things--that they remember how we pray every day in the car together, asking for God to show us something new about Him. i want them to see that all the little everyday things we do together are shaping them to be who they are and all the little moments are creating the memories that they can carry with them until they are old and gray.

this part of our journey has reminded me that life is short. we all know it, but we don't always make the most of it. this has been a reminder to be thankful for each day because it truly is a gift from God (as trite as that sounds). so...i've been reminded to live each day to its most, not knowing when the todays will come to an end.

(for a future post...i can ramble on about how when our last today here comes to an end, we have a most incredible tomorrow in front of us--God created the most incredible future for each one of us and paid a most lavish price for us to be with Him.)

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

pumpkin-eating squirrels

sounds like a horrible title to a grade b film. we have legions of pumpkin-eating squirrels in our neighborhood. it wasn't always this way. when we first moved into our home, we had your average, ordinary, run-of-the-mill squirrels. then they evolved...

every fall, i love to decorate with lots of pumpkins. earl may has had their ninety-nine cent pumpkins for years and i've taken full advantage of the deal. we don't carve them, just stagger them through the flower gardens, around my bench and by the door... nice, festive, and ties us over until it's time to get the christmas lights out.

acorns...we have lots of acorns. oak trees in several yards. but the squirrels wanted more.
maybe they got lectured that they really should increase the amount of produce in their diet. then they discovered them...the yard with pumpkins. the squirrels used to be nice and just eat a hole in one, clean it out and then eventually work their way to the next one.

now, they've invited their friends. i blinked and all the pumpkins have holes chewed in them. pumpkin guts and seeds trailing through my flower garden and around the bench and near the front door. i have to say that the squirrels are looking a bit plumper this year, all that pumpkin going straight to their hips.

will have to come up with an alternative next season. i am a bit frightened...not sure how they will evolve next.

mmmmmm...magnesium

i love chocolate. dark, milk, white, organic, from the cacao reserves...it's all good.
(okay, except the super cheap crappy stuff)
the best now is that they say that dark chocolate is a great source for magnesium.
what a great way to justify chocolate indulgance!
even m & m's have jumped on board. they have the regular and peanut and peanut butter and all the different colors to match whatever the latest holiday is (wonder what colors they pick for labor day?). there is almond and now...dark chocolate. i can get the essential magnesium into my diet by having it melt in my mouth and not in my hands.

be right back...feeling a lack of magnesium in my system...


Monday, October 15, 2007

it's a rainy day and a monday

today is one of those days that i wish i could have just stayed in bed.
we've had gloomy, wet weather for days and i just want to see some sunshine and bask in the colors of fall.
(don't think i would fare well for an extended stay in seattle)
time seems to have come to a standstill and it seems like life is just extra-difficult right now.
normally, i would consider myself more of an idealist--one who sees that the best of everything is possible. i don't think i consider myself that today.

the cold medicine i'm taking isn't working.
my job didn't seem fulfilling today when it so often does.
it seems as though i've been cleaning for days and my house is a mess.
i've grocery shopped and cooked, but there's nothing to eat.
a prognosis for my father-in-law at the hospital isn't exactly optimistic.
my kids are maxed and tired, yet my little one took almost two hours to fall asleep.
in the Bible, God tells me who i am, yet i don't feel those things today at all.

i could sing like annie and bellow that 'the sun'll come out tomorrow'
but today i'll sing like the carpenters that 'rainy days and mondays always get me down'.

i know it's just a mood, a deep emotional funk.
(the idealist is creeping in...deep down i know that
tomorrow is a new day where all kinds of things are possible.)

but...today is a rainy day and a monday and we'll leave it at that.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

shut up

i enjoy being a busy person. i love having eighteen things going all at once. (is that a mild form of a.d.d.?) i love cramming a ton of things into my day--kids, work, reading, typing, listening, walking, visiting... God has been teaching me for some time now on prioritizing all those things, that things have to come in a certain order for life to be lived with impact, with abundance. He comes first, my marriage and family second...and everything falls into an order in the list.

lately, God moved things to a slightly deeper level. good that you're getting things in order, but now I need you to shut up. I need you to be quiet, to be still, to listen, to wait. i have to say, i think i may have missed Him asking a few times because of all the noise. so God did what only God can do, He's cleared out some of the 'noise'.

for the past few months, there has been a time of silence in my day--every day. amazing how loud it is. at first, i didn't know what to do. i tried filling the time with activities, i cried, i yelled, i pouted by doing nothing. then...something dawned on me a bit ago--silence is such a gift. God has given me a time of silence each day to simply listen to Him. amazing that once you shift your perspective just a bit what you hear in that silence.

silence allows time to think, to reflect, to examine. it's given me opportunities to look at things in my life that i need to let God work on. it's encouraged me by letting me get away from the world that is spinning like crazy around me and regain perspective. it recharges, renews, refreshes.

been spending some time in psalm 46. go look at it. go to www.biblegateway.com if you don't have a bible and type in 'psalm 46' and see what it says. God uses this amazing contrast--the massive roars and crashes that happen in nature, the roars and yells of civilations as we clash with one another constrasted to His powers and what He can do...and then here's the clincher, it says to BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD. this passage has paragraphs of busy, noisy, overwhelming forces and then you have to be careful not to miss the quiet reminder at the end. don't miss it.

in the middle of the crashes and roars and feuds and battles and noise, God asks us to be still for just a moment and know that He is God. He is giving us a reminder at the end of this passage to make a concerted effort to find a still moment each day and remember who is God, who He is and who is in control.

i'm going to go and savor my small moments of silence today.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

sitting

isn't it interesting how sitting makes you tired?

been sitting in a hospital waiting room on and off over the last month or so. those days always wipe me out. i understand how running a marathon can wipe one out, how cleaning your house and doing yardwork can wipe one out, how parenting little ones can wipe one out. sitting and waiting is about the most exhausting of all.

think i might do laps around the halls later so i won't be wiped.

Monday, October 1, 2007

purpose

God's various gifts are handed out everywhere,
but they all originate in God's Spirit.
God's various ministries are carried out everywhere;
but they all originate in God's Spirit.
God's various expressions of power are in action everywhere,
but God himself is behind it all.
Each person is given something to do that shows who God is:
Everyone gets in on it, everyone benefits.
All kinds of things are handed out by the Spirit,
and to all kinds of people.
The variety is wonderful:
wise counsel
clear understanding
simple trust
healing the sick
miraculous acts
proclamation
distinguishing between spirits
tongues
interpretation of tongues.
All these gifts have a common origin,
but are handed out one by one
by the one Spirit of God.
He decides who gets what and when.
1 Corinthians 12:4-11 (The Message translation)

each one of us is given something--a strength, a talent, a passion, an ability--that shows who God is to those around us. that amazes me. things that come naturally for me were placed inside by a God that wants me to show others who He is. (pretty humbling, isn't it?) there are things in you that God wants to use and speak through and tell others about Him.

honestly, i know i don't always show Him the best. i let myself get in the way and don't let Him be seen. this passage is a great reminder to me...it never has been about me--it's always been about God and Him wanting to show a world how much He loves them. He uses all people in all ages to share His message--He does it in a numberless amount of ways. i know God has used friends in my life to help with wise counsel in difficult situations or help me to understand something that i had been wrestling with. i've seen people come out on the other side of a cancer diagnosis free of disease that can only be attributed to God's miraculous power. because someone gives and serves, someone who is in need will be okay for another day.

because of God's goodness to us, we can be good to others. because He meets our needs, we can help others. because He loves us, we can love others. God makes each one of us who we are with one purpose in mind--each one of us, in our own unique way, can show the world who God is.